Paranoia

Being a first time mother can cause a lot of angst... if you let it go there. But I admit there are moments that get me anxious and a bit paranoid, but I believe some of that comes with the territory of being a parent. Example: Yesterday morning I got a letter from Kaiser. I hadn't opened it yet but I knew it was the results of my blood test from two weeks ago for my second trimester blood screening. With the first round of results I found out the next day on my online account and everything was in normative range, a huge blessing and a sigh of relief because that was the first blood testing ever in my adult life. (Side note: The needles for the blood test are so small compared to giving blood, I was a champ and actually enjoyed it.)

Anyway... For this second round I hadn't heard yet... ok not to worry, but when the letter can I think my anxiety went up one degree then when I opened the letter the first word I saw was Down Syndrome. "Oh my gosh.... wait, wait, wait.... actually read the letter Liisa and see what it says," as I self-talked. I read the letter completely. I was notifying me that my results for Downs, Triomony, and Spina bifida were negative and in normative range. Ok, ok, I get it but gosh, just a split second of panic, not much but just a moment. I read on and the letter said something to the degree of, "these results do not accurately conclude that your child does not have Downs, for further testing talk to us about amniocentesis... blah blah blah." Thanks Kaiser!

I shared with some of my other co-workers looking for understanding and empathy. Gosh, I was thinking if I was a 'worrier' this would be not good news at all. I have to admit I went online and looked at national averages for all three of these birth disorders. I found out I was better than the national average, which is great. March of Dimes stated that women of age 25 are 1 out 1,200 and my numbers are 1 out of 1,300 and I'm at age 26. So that was my little moment... I don't want to blow it out of proportion but it feels good to write about it as I believe it to be normal to be a bit anxious about wanting a healthy child. From the beginning that has been our prayer as a family. And we know that the Lord will bless us with what He gives us.

Ok. that's all.... lately the area around my belly button has been super sensitive and it really has streteched and is no longer an 'innie' for sure. My tailbone has been very sensitive, so I have to look up ways to see how I can relieve the pain somehow, but it might just be what comes along with pregnancy and that's fine. My sister and Tyler are driving up as we speak, I am super excited to see her and meet Tyler. It will be pretty cool for her to see my belly! We're just going to do a typical Portland tour (Multnomah Falls, Powells book, 23rd street, Voodoo Doughnuts, saturday market, etc). I love Portland in the summer/fall, best time of the year. I also can't wait for July as our whole family is staying a week at a beach house in Depoe Bay, OR. This will be such a fun time as we would have found out the sex of the baby by then. Alaina's wedding is coming up and I should be getting my dress here soon, I ordered right after I knew I was pregnant, thank the Lord cause it will fit with the style it is. My belly is getting bigger which is nice cause for awhile it looked like a beer belly. :)