Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Hannah's Birth Story
Still composing this post.... lots of memories, details, emotions, joy, and tears to process through. Stay tuned!
Friday, December 9, 2011
Hannah Noel Ferguson
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| First picture as a family of three! |
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Thursday, November 10, 2011
Labor is Active Waiting
Had to share what Kim Cooper wrote about labor being active waiting. It was so encouraging and refreshing to read. Tonight we ichatted as a family online and prayed together. I need my family more than ever now and we are so blessed that we have each other to call upon for times like this- to pray, laugh, and see their faces in our home computer screen. We are activity waiting as we got the news that I am 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Praying that our baby girl decides to come soon, at least that is what we have been asking for in prayer.
Words shared from Kim Cooper: "Labor is that active waiting of expecting, praying, anticipating, contracting, praying, questioning, pushing, praying, groaning, panting, pushing, delivering, rejoicing - Waiting is So ACTIVE! He knows the number of our days - the beginning and the end. ..His timing is the right timing."
Words shared from Kim Cooper: "Labor is that active waiting of expecting, praying, anticipating, contracting, praying, questioning, pushing, praying, groaning, panting, pushing, delivering, rejoicing - Waiting is So ACTIVE! He knows the number of our days - the beginning and the end. ..His timing is the right timing."
Friday, November 4, 2011
Overdue
By overdue... I mean I am overdue to writing on this blog. Yes, it is one day past our little girl's guess date but to me she will be right on time when she comes. The average birth is 41 weeks anyway. We have everything pretty much ready. The dishes in the sink still need to be done and laundry put away but that will always be there, a never ending job especially adding a little one to the mix. But I think we have pretty much everything set. It's been pretty fun to prepare for the arrival and getting everything ready. We would not have been quite as prepared if it wasn't for the support from all of our friends and family! My goodness have we been blessed by some amazing people. The three showers that were thrown for us has left me in such a state of thankfulness to the Lord for every person in our lives. It has been overwhelming and very humbling at the amount of love that has been shown. Even students coming into the office giving us hats, outfits, and blankets that they made means so much! This little girl is already loved so much- what a way to enter this broken world.
Well, I am a day past my "guess date," not surprised. Based on my family hx I had a feeling this would occur. This weekend were going to try to maybe "help" things move along, don't really know if it will make any difference or not. Right now I am drinking my raspberry leaf tea, one of the home remedies for helping to induce, we shall see. It's cold outside so in any case it's nice to drink something hot! Our Thirsties diaper covers are coming in any day. At that point we will have 11 size one and 12 size two diaper covers. I think we are set for cloth diapering. Talked to Scott about doing a diaper service and he said if we are going to do this then let's start doing it right from the start plus then we don't have to pay for it as well... so I am going to trust my husband on this one and we will dive right into washing cloth diapers every other day.
I keep on going on scenarios in my head of being in some major discomfort and just try to relax my body during those times. I think of my mom, Scott, and Andrea being with be and I sigh know that I will not being going through this alone, that support will be with me the whole way- what a comfort that is. So any day she will be here, we are just waiting on her perfect timing and continuing to pray for a healthy baby and birth!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Baby Bump Pics!
Late in October our friend, Kim, took pregnancy pics of us on Mt. Tabor. Scott and I have shared many memorable moments at Mt. Tabor Park. The first being the time where we both expressed our feelings for each as we sat on a bend on the west side of the park that overlooked the city. Now it has come full circle as we take pictures of our soon to be family of three. Fall is my favorite season... I love the color of the leaves. Had to post some pics that Kim took. Thanks Kim!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Six Weeks Left!
This Thursday we will have "six" weeks left... perhaps more. Scott was taking a picture of my belly tonight to send to my cousin and I didn't quite know how big I was until I saw the pic. Wow! It's amazing how big you can get, how fast the baby grows, and how much change can happen in 9 months. Right now I am going through and washing all the baby clothes I have which is about 8 tubs worth at this point. We got a bunch done this weekend with the baby room, thanks to Brynn who helped me with decisions and how cute the room now looks. Everything is coming together and I am getting pretty excited. I can't wait for my mom to come down this week to help make the baby bumper for the crib, found some pretty cute material. Also, this week we are wrapping up our Bradley classes. The count down is on!!!
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| The crib bumpers and pillow cover project complete! |
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| Learned how to use make "button hole" on my sewing machine. Thanks mom! |
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Bellies and Boobs
Today I went again to my prenatal water aerobics class. It's pretty relaxing to be in the water with 30+ other pregnant women. It's comforting to know you aren't the only one that waddles or has to use the restroom every hour. When getting dressed in the locker room it was reassuring to know that yours aren't the only boobs that look that like yours or whose belly is so large and out there. The pool is a nice 90 degrees so you don't freeze when you step in. I have been wearing my two piece because who cares and my tankini pulled up last time I wore which was annoying. Just hanging out in the deep end with a noodle under my arms completely takes off the weight from my spine. It's a nice break for your body, and I just learned tonight that your heart rate will always be lower in the water because even though you are working out those same muscle groups, your body isn't working against gravity. Our Bradley class ends in 3 weeks so I am planning on going 2x week until baby girl arrives, I guess if you haven't had your baby yet and you are still coming to class, classes are free. Pretty sweet!
On another note, I just picked up a bag of clothe diapers and covers from a gal who I knew through a mutual friend. She sold me 10 diaper covers, 12 prefolds, 12 Flip inserts, 2 pail liners, pack of Flip disposable inserts, and a small wetbag all for $100. If I were to buy all of that brand new it would be around $300 or more. We were so incredibly blessed as all of this has only be used for about a year and is in great condition. What a wonderful start to our clothe diapering journey. I know we still have to get more supplies but this is such a blessing to start off with! These next couple weeks I will be starting to pick out fabric for a baby bumper and start making clothe diaper burp clothes... getting into the nesting mood more and more!
On another note, I just picked up a bag of clothe diapers and covers from a gal who I knew through a mutual friend. She sold me 10 diaper covers, 12 prefolds, 12 Flip inserts, 2 pail liners, pack of Flip disposable inserts, and a small wetbag all for $100. If I were to buy all of that brand new it would be around $300 or more. We were so incredibly blessed as all of this has only be used for about a year and is in great condition. What a wonderful start to our clothe diapering journey. I know we still have to get more supplies but this is such a blessing to start off with! These next couple weeks I will be starting to pick out fabric for a baby bumper and start making clothe diaper burp clothes... getting into the nesting mood more and more!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Overwhelmed
This week has been a busy one but a very productive one. About at year ago I mentioned to Scott about refinishing the floors in the back bedrooms and hallway. It had blue carpet that was worn and stained from use over the years. Well we took no action on this project until now because of the motivation of having a baby in 3 months. Funny how things like having a baby will get you finishing projects you say you always want to do. We did this in phases. First pulled up the carpet then painted the rooms. Brynn came over which helped tremendously! Then my folks came down and helped with the floors. Right now our project is completed. I am looking back over this last week and am overwhelmed by the love and support we have received from our family and friend. There is nothing more I can do besides saying "thank you" and giving hugs to my loved ones. I am so grateful and humbled by the love we have received doing this project. Being pregnant I can't lift or do as much as I would have so has meant so much to me. Thank you to my husband, parents, sis-in-law, in-laws, and Brynn for all your help. We love you and are so looking forward to the future in having this little girl. :)
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Temporary Insomnia
I'm up... my brain is wide awake but my body feels exhausted. Drank some water and ate some salty chips to ease any hunger and I hope it does the trick but I am still awake.... browse facebook but no one is posting anything this late at night. Hoping that blogging will remedy my wakefulness at this hour. Before pregnancy I slept like a champ, now the closer I get to my 'guess date' the more I wake up. It doesn't happen every night but occasionally here and there. I guess I could diagnosis myself with insomnia but I would hardly fit the criteria and thankful I don't for right now. I know that my nights of waking up will become more and more frequent and then when she is born I will be waking up for feedings every 2 hrs. Maybe it's our body's way of preparing us for those sleepless nights.
This blog has been a pretty fun experience thus far...don't know who reads it nor do I care but it has been a great way for me to reflect about this incredible journey. There is so much to take in and I think I would pass it by at times if I wasn't intentional at reflecting what I was feeling and experiencing. I am currently almost 28 weeks and I think into my third trimester... not quite sure, I'll have to check that out. Some people say, "you're about to pop," and I kindly respond saying "no I have three more months to go." I guess it's mostly men that have said that to me to think about it. One guy I know at work kept on saying "wow, Liisa you're really letting yourself go..." as to joke around and get a laugh out of me. At first I was polite and kindly joked back but after the 4th or 5th time and now that I am getting much much bigger it's not funny anymore.... is there anything else you can say to me when you see me? I made known to him my concerns the last time he said his 'joke' and I believe it worked. It was just getting to the point where I was completely irritated as he would say this in front of other co-wokers, a lack of social intelligence for sure, I couldn't tolerate it anymore.
Being pregnant makes weight gain a more sensitive topic which has been an interesting experience because I haven't been one who is really that sensitive when it comes to weight. I even know that my weight gain has been on the higher end but to me I feel great and haven't noticed any extreme gains in my body other than my belly area and boobs where the gains are supposed to happen. I do think I have slightly swelled in my feet and hands and so I have been eating more salt to help retain water. Moving around is still fairly comfortable although there is still just the struggle at times because my body is adjusting to this recent change. My tailbone which had been hurting throughout my 1st and 2nd trimester has almost ceased, thank the Lord for my mother-in-law and the butt pillow she gave for me at work, that is a champ. I believe the pain I was experiencing was from all my ligaments stretching in that region on my body... there's more stretching and widening still yet to be done but now the pain is very infrequent which I am very relieved and happy.
Ok switching gears to what they call nesting, a very appropriate word to describe this period of pregnancy. It is definitely a season of waiting and preparation and I believe it much more so than planning a wedding. Preparing to have a baby has been much more emotional than planning a wedding was, for me at least. Planning a wedding in six months was great, it was a lot of work but such a joy. There was only one time I remember where it got difficult but that was based on other people's actions, we prayed about it and moved on, as to not have the joy of planning be stripped away from the experience. Plus planning a wedding is really planning for just that day. Yes, you are getting your heart ready for the rest of your lives but I believe pregnancy to be 100x more emotional and you are not only preparing for that day of labor but also for our lives to be changed forever. We only have three more months left of Scott and myself. I get sad at times as I know we are in the transition of our lives. It is a very exciting and anticipating season but a week ago we were chillin at home in the evening watching tv, just the two of us. I looked at him and realized that in three months this was all going to change. I was a little sad that night and grateful at the same time. Acknowledging that we are in a period of transition is important and recognizing how I feeling in the moment only does me good. We are in an exciting period of our lives and completely looking forward to having this baby but there are those times of grief because you are moving from one stage to the next and I don't want to pass it all by and not take in these little moments like the two of us together. We have been together for over 5 years and almost three of those years have been in marriage and our time where it's been just the two of us is coming to an end.
I am really thankful to the Lord that pregnancy is 9 months. For me I need time to adjust to change especially if I really wasn't on expecting it, like this one. The Lord really knew the perfect timing for a woman's body and heart to prepare to have a baby, and it has been an incredible experience. I was talking to my aunt this morning on the phone as she asked me how I have been feeling (p.s. you get that question alot!!!). I told her that I really have been feeling great and can't complain too much about being uncomfortable or even being sick for that matter, it has been quite the blessing and I actually really enjoy being pregnant. My aunt Lish said that we come from good stock. :) I don't take this lightly at all and am thankful for good health and a low risk pregnancy. Hearing about couples who are having difficulty getting pregnant or even hearing about women in my life who are having menstrual or ovarian challenges really weighs on my heart and I do my best to keep them in my prayers. I am thankful for a healthy and enjoyable pregnancy.
I'm still up... but thinking after this last paragraph to get some shut eye. :) I finished my summer semester... shout out! Whoot whoot! So happy and relieved it is all done. I have not been as motivated this summer as my interests have been elsewhere like reading baby books rather than hw. But the work it all done, completed, and turned in! I am free for awhile as I don't plan on taking classes this fall and am completely at peace with it. :) Some big projects have been happening literally right after my last paper was written. We painted all three bedrooms and hallway a yummy warm caramel color with the white trim. We have pulled up all the carpet to reveal the beautiful wood floors underneath. But these floors need to be refinished so my parents are driving out this week and going to help us tackle this project which is the biggest one, and it will be the most rewarding I feel. In all of this we also bought a car! Praise the Lord! We sold my little infiniti about two weeks ago and just this month reached our goal to buy as used Subaru. We told my folks that we are looking but in no rush because we still had Scott's truck to drive around. My mom called us up on Friday and all in all we bought a 2002 Subaru Outback, white, automatic, limited edition with 60,000 miles for $10,500 cash! A bit different bc we bought it and haven't even driven it yet.... but since my folks are both owners of subarus and have a great relationship with the dealer we bought it and everything has worked out great. The car is in great condition and it has some fun bells and whistles that I am looking forward to like leather seats, muti-CD player, dual moon roof, tinted windows, heated seats.... needless to say we are pretty excited about our purchase and thankful that we saved up the cash to buy it, what a great feeling it is (thanks Dave Ramsey)! We get the car this wed when my folks drive down to help with the floors, what impeccable timing! Just really thanking the Lord that He orchestrated all of this together, better than we would have planned! After the floors I want to go through all of our stuff and get rid of things we don't use or wear, and get bins to separate out winter from summer clothes and organize our basement. Next is when I call up Brynn to help decorate the baby room, I'm not the best at that kinda of thing, envisioning what I want or how it will look because there are too many things one could do and I get overwhelmed. So Brynn is going to help with the interior design as you would call it. Looking forward to these next three months getting ready for our baby girl to arrive! :)
oj... I'm tired now... good night!
This blog has been a pretty fun experience thus far...don't know who reads it nor do I care but it has been a great way for me to reflect about this incredible journey. There is so much to take in and I think I would pass it by at times if I wasn't intentional at reflecting what I was feeling and experiencing. I am currently almost 28 weeks and I think into my third trimester... not quite sure, I'll have to check that out. Some people say, "you're about to pop," and I kindly respond saying "no I have three more months to go." I guess it's mostly men that have said that to me to think about it. One guy I know at work kept on saying "wow, Liisa you're really letting yourself go..." as to joke around and get a laugh out of me. At first I was polite and kindly joked back but after the 4th or 5th time and now that I am getting much much bigger it's not funny anymore.... is there anything else you can say to me when you see me? I made known to him my concerns the last time he said his 'joke' and I believe it worked. It was just getting to the point where I was completely irritated as he would say this in front of other co-wokers, a lack of social intelligence for sure, I couldn't tolerate it anymore.
Being pregnant makes weight gain a more sensitive topic which has been an interesting experience because I haven't been one who is really that sensitive when it comes to weight. I even know that my weight gain has been on the higher end but to me I feel great and haven't noticed any extreme gains in my body other than my belly area and boobs where the gains are supposed to happen. I do think I have slightly swelled in my feet and hands and so I have been eating more salt to help retain water. Moving around is still fairly comfortable although there is still just the struggle at times because my body is adjusting to this recent change. My tailbone which had been hurting throughout my 1st and 2nd trimester has almost ceased, thank the Lord for my mother-in-law and the butt pillow she gave for me at work, that is a champ. I believe the pain I was experiencing was from all my ligaments stretching in that region on my body... there's more stretching and widening still yet to be done but now the pain is very infrequent which I am very relieved and happy.
Ok switching gears to what they call nesting, a very appropriate word to describe this period of pregnancy. It is definitely a season of waiting and preparation and I believe it much more so than planning a wedding. Preparing to have a baby has been much more emotional than planning a wedding was, for me at least. Planning a wedding in six months was great, it was a lot of work but such a joy. There was only one time I remember where it got difficult but that was based on other people's actions, we prayed about it and moved on, as to not have the joy of planning be stripped away from the experience. Plus planning a wedding is really planning for just that day. Yes, you are getting your heart ready for the rest of your lives but I believe pregnancy to be 100x more emotional and you are not only preparing for that day of labor but also for our lives to be changed forever. We only have three more months left of Scott and myself. I get sad at times as I know we are in the transition of our lives. It is a very exciting and anticipating season but a week ago we were chillin at home in the evening watching tv, just the two of us. I looked at him and realized that in three months this was all going to change. I was a little sad that night and grateful at the same time. Acknowledging that we are in a period of transition is important and recognizing how I feeling in the moment only does me good. We are in an exciting period of our lives and completely looking forward to having this baby but there are those times of grief because you are moving from one stage to the next and I don't want to pass it all by and not take in these little moments like the two of us together. We have been together for over 5 years and almost three of those years have been in marriage and our time where it's been just the two of us is coming to an end.
I am really thankful to the Lord that pregnancy is 9 months. For me I need time to adjust to change especially if I really wasn't on expecting it, like this one. The Lord really knew the perfect timing for a woman's body and heart to prepare to have a baby, and it has been an incredible experience. I was talking to my aunt this morning on the phone as she asked me how I have been feeling (p.s. you get that question alot!!!). I told her that I really have been feeling great and can't complain too much about being uncomfortable or even being sick for that matter, it has been quite the blessing and I actually really enjoy being pregnant. My aunt Lish said that we come from good stock. :) I don't take this lightly at all and am thankful for good health and a low risk pregnancy. Hearing about couples who are having difficulty getting pregnant or even hearing about women in my life who are having menstrual or ovarian challenges really weighs on my heart and I do my best to keep them in my prayers. I am thankful for a healthy and enjoyable pregnancy.
I'm still up... but thinking after this last paragraph to get some shut eye. :) I finished my summer semester... shout out! Whoot whoot! So happy and relieved it is all done. I have not been as motivated this summer as my interests have been elsewhere like reading baby books rather than hw. But the work it all done, completed, and turned in! I am free for awhile as I don't plan on taking classes this fall and am completely at peace with it. :) Some big projects have been happening literally right after my last paper was written. We painted all three bedrooms and hallway a yummy warm caramel color with the white trim. We have pulled up all the carpet to reveal the beautiful wood floors underneath. But these floors need to be refinished so my parents are driving out this week and going to help us tackle this project which is the biggest one, and it will be the most rewarding I feel. In all of this we also bought a car! Praise the Lord! We sold my little infiniti about two weeks ago and just this month reached our goal to buy as used Subaru. We told my folks that we are looking but in no rush because we still had Scott's truck to drive around. My mom called us up on Friday and all in all we bought a 2002 Subaru Outback, white, automatic, limited edition with 60,000 miles for $10,500 cash! A bit different bc we bought it and haven't even driven it yet.... but since my folks are both owners of subarus and have a great relationship with the dealer we bought it and everything has worked out great. The car is in great condition and it has some fun bells and whistles that I am looking forward to like leather seats, muti-CD player, dual moon roof, tinted windows, heated seats.... needless to say we are pretty excited about our purchase and thankful that we saved up the cash to buy it, what a great feeling it is (thanks Dave Ramsey)! We get the car this wed when my folks drive down to help with the floors, what impeccable timing! Just really thanking the Lord that He orchestrated all of this together, better than we would have planned! After the floors I want to go through all of our stuff and get rid of things we don't use or wear, and get bins to separate out winter from summer clothes and organize our basement. Next is when I call up Brynn to help decorate the baby room, I'm not the best at that kinda of thing, envisioning what I want or how it will look because there are too many things one could do and I get overwhelmed. So Brynn is going to help with the interior design as you would call it. Looking forward to these next three months getting ready for our baby girl to arrive! :)
oj... I'm tired now... good night!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
It's a Girl... and nesting has begun!
By now we have known for three weeks that we are having a little baby girl. The ultrasound appointment will be such a wonderful memory in my mind. We had both of our parents at the appointment. For the first part it was just Scott, myself, and the ultrasound tech Shannon. Shannon did a complete tour of the body getting all the right images and measurements for the radiologist. It was nice to have some privacy at the beginning where we could just look at our baby and be amazed at this little miracle of life before our eyes. The first thing Shannon did was going straight to the genitalia. Once we could see she had us guess, I made my guess a 'girl' because I had previously looked online for photos so I could make the distinction, plus there was no apparent 'hot dog,' it looked more like a 'cheeseburger' as I have heard others call it. :) We were thrilled! I remember this wave of emotion that overcame my entire body and my eyes teared up. We are having a girl! And here I thought all along we were having a boy bc everyone said we were even though I had a specific dream of a girl and Scott said that he was convinced it was a girl until otherwise proven. It was such an incredible moment looking at her body and feeling her move inside of me while I watched those movements on the monitor. She had one eye open which we got a kick out of because she was a little pirate, "arg!" Our parents came into the room and they got to find out which was so exciting for all of us! I loved having our parents in the room since I don't know how long it's been sense they have seen an ultrasound plus to see their little granddaughter move as well. My mom was prepared with two gifts (boy or girl) and I was able to open my little girl gift of the cutest little sleeper. My mother in law, Sandy, got us little yellow crocks which is perfect for the Oregon Ducks!
From then on we called our family and those closest to us about the news. It seems from that moment on the speed has picked up a bit. We purchased a 'new to us' washer and dryer from a coworker friend that was moving. It is amazing! I have been living in the dark ages as our previous washer and dryer that comes with the house is 10+ years and it would overheat and turn off. Plus I don't really enjoy doing laundry in the first place and so it didn't help that the loads were so small and in the basement, so it was out of sight, out of mind in my opinion. This has made such a difference and my fav thing is the dryer cause it's a top load! The Lord worked out the timing on this one as I was nervous having such an old w/d with baby clothes and also clothe diapers which we are still considering.
Next is our birthing classes! We have started our Bradley Method classes. I looked up on the website and found an instructor that is around 10mins away from our house and during the week. These classes are 12 weeks for 2 hrs and that's a commitment. Most of the classes that I looked up were on the weekend which I didn't want because it is still summer and it would feel like a obligation if it impeded on any fun plans we might had wanted to do for the weekend. The Lord again worked out the timing and the location right across the river in Vancouver. Plus our instructor is a Concordia Alum and she not aa Portland granola hippie which I was a bit concerned more for Scott than for myself. Our class size is small (average range from 3 to 8 couples). Not everyone showed up for the first class so we have yet to see how big our class is and to meet everyone. It is always a bit awkward in the first class as you warm up to people and the instructor. I did learn about Optimal Fetal Position which I looked up right when I got home. I feel so empowered through this whole experience and really feel like I am owning and fully grasping every opportunity that I have to learn something. The next step is to solidify our contract with our doula, Andrea. I feel like I have a long list of things that need to be done which means... research clothe diapers, research immunizations, plan baby room, first finish floors in the house, research strollers/carseats, craigslist a madela breast pump, sign up for aquatic classes, sell our infiniti, purchase a subaru, etc. There are so many things that need to get done and I get caught up thinking about this list all the time. But I know that everything will happen and fall into place and get done.... my first motivation is finishing up this summer semester of grad school. I feel that all that I have been interested in reading has been baby and breastfeeding books. Ahh! But I have 3 more weeks to push through and turn in all my papers and projects and then I can charge in full speed with preparing for our little girl! Ok that's it... got to get me some shut eye! Night.
From then on we called our family and those closest to us about the news. It seems from that moment on the speed has picked up a bit. We purchased a 'new to us' washer and dryer from a coworker friend that was moving. It is amazing! I have been living in the dark ages as our previous washer and dryer that comes with the house is 10+ years and it would overheat and turn off. Plus I don't really enjoy doing laundry in the first place and so it didn't help that the loads were so small and in the basement, so it was out of sight, out of mind in my opinion. This has made such a difference and my fav thing is the dryer cause it's a top load! The Lord worked out the timing on this one as I was nervous having such an old w/d with baby clothes and also clothe diapers which we are still considering.
Next is our birthing classes! We have started our Bradley Method classes. I looked up on the website and found an instructor that is around 10mins away from our house and during the week. These classes are 12 weeks for 2 hrs and that's a commitment. Most of the classes that I looked up were on the weekend which I didn't want because it is still summer and it would feel like a obligation if it impeded on any fun plans we might had wanted to do for the weekend. The Lord again worked out the timing and the location right across the river in Vancouver. Plus our instructor is a Concordia Alum and she not aa Portland granola hippie which I was a bit concerned more for Scott than for myself. Our class size is small (average range from 3 to 8 couples). Not everyone showed up for the first class so we have yet to see how big our class is and to meet everyone. It is always a bit awkward in the first class as you warm up to people and the instructor. I did learn about Optimal Fetal Position which I looked up right when I got home. I feel so empowered through this whole experience and really feel like I am owning and fully grasping every opportunity that I have to learn something. The next step is to solidify our contract with our doula, Andrea. I feel like I have a long list of things that need to be done which means... research clothe diapers, research immunizations, plan baby room, first finish floors in the house, research strollers/carseats, craigslist a madela breast pump, sign up for aquatic classes, sell our infiniti, purchase a subaru, etc. There are so many things that need to get done and I get caught up thinking about this list all the time. But I know that everything will happen and fall into place and get done.... my first motivation is finishing up this summer semester of grad school. I feel that all that I have been interested in reading has been baby and breastfeeding books. Ahh! But I have 3 more weeks to push through and turn in all my papers and projects and then I can charge in full speed with preparing for our little girl! Ok that's it... got to get me some shut eye! Night.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Navigating and Advocating
It's been almost a month since my last blog but it feels longer. This Thursday I will be 22 and we will hopefully be finding out the sex of our baby! About 80% of people that we know have made their claim it's a boy. I have only had one dream that it was a girl, but it was a bit of a humorous one because she had a lazy eye, I still crack up when I think of that weird dream. :) My folks are coming down the 30th of June to start our week long vacation on the Oregon Coast in Depoe Bay. We will be staying at a beach house, pretty excited to get away even though it's not that far to travel, it will be a great break from work and school. So both sets of parents will be present for the ultrasound appointment. Scott and I for the first part of the appt will be alone in the room when we find out the news and then we will invite our folks in. I think it will be such a special moment as I don't know how long it's been since our mothers have seen a baby on an ultrasound plus they will see the baby move instead of just getting pics and technology has advanced so much since they had kids I think it will be such a neat experience for all of us!
I have been feeling so much movement from this "little lemon," more like the size of a papaya fruit (those are so yummy) now! Looking back in the last month, so much has developed. I have found myself really diving into books and research about natural birthing and interventions and what to expect and how to advocate for myself. I feel like I am learning how to navigate my way through this whole experience. The first example of this was scheduling this ultrasound appt to find out the sex. My midwife wrote down in her chicken scratch notes to me that I should schedule this appt between 18-22 weeks with the ultrasound lab. Great, cause the 30th was when my folks where driving down and I would be exactly 22 weeks and we could schedule the appt then.... so I called up the Ultrasound lab. The gal on the phone said, "I'm sorry, I can only schedule you between 18-20 weeks." I asked for a reason why and she didn't give a legitimate one, so I said I would contact my midwife and I did. She said to call another office if I didn't mind traveling to a different location as they would have flexibility in their schedule. It all worked out and I spoke to the right woman on the phone and explained why I wanted to schedule when I did, knowing that it's never certain that you will find out or that the baby will cooperate during the appt. This was one example of me learning how to navigate and advocate for myself. The second was through my midwife. My first baby appt was located near us but I then switched to the clinic near the hospital in Clackamas because I felt more comfortable and that area wouldn't be unfamiliar to travel there when in labor. So I requested a new CNM from a friend of ours. Let me tell you, I walked out asking myself what just happened and feeling completely confused and ambiguous about the whole appt. It felt like the whole time the midwife was talking about my weight and how I should eat right. This is a sensitive subject in general but even more sensitive during pregnancy as you naturally have no choice in gain weight. I have never had this problem before and I was questioning myself in do I eat enough greens and do I exercise enough.... the answers were yes and yes! Yes, I might not be the skinniest pregnant women and my arms are a bit bigger than I would like them to be at but not active? What? That's not right, I do workout and do yoga and do actually crave for good food and don't run to fast food EVER! I do like my icecream but not every night... the list went on and on in my head. I had expected this appt to be like a counseling appt, nice, warm, and fuzzy where I get to talk about my experience and my feelings and my first pregnancy... none of that. I shared with some women this experience and that I feel completely lukewarm towards her. I advice I received from everyone was, "switch!" And so I did, so this was my next advocating lesson and now feeling not guilty or apologetic about it either.
So today I just met with my midwife and I had a great experience. I was a bit apprehensive about going in because this would have been my third different midwife and the second recommended one at that. I was just praying and talking to myself in the car about how my expectations and what I wanted to communicate to her. Everything went smoothly! She listened and totally supported me and gave me permission to let her know if I ever felt uncomfortable with her to let her know which I wholly appreciated! It was a great baby appointment!
Through this last month I have discovered a key component that I will need that my midwife can only partially fulfill and that is the emotional piece of this pregnancy. I fully understand midwife's role and know that she even might not be there for the birth because Kaiser has them on shifts at the hospital. Knowing this now has made me search for another way of getting the emotional connection and need that I believe is so vital to this experience, which is why I have decided to have a doula. Recently, I wasn't quite sure what the role of a doula was. I met up with my RA from college and to find out her sister, which I know, is just finishing her doula training! I just met with Andrea tonight and let me tell you, I feel so supported and so happy that we are going to go this route! There is something about talking with a women who has experience and training in child birth and who knows what you are experiencing. Yes, mind you that my husband Scott will still be an active part during labor but I feel like I finally have a team! It was great to sip tea with Andrea and share my feelings and my story of pregnancy thus far. Plus the little that I knew of her set up a great foundation for a solid alliance. I felt heard and spending 3 hrs in a tea house with someone who listens is an encouraging and empowering experience. Scott and I have still yet to fully discuss our decision but from what I told him tonight, he was on board! I feel that having a doula fulfills the emotional need that I have. She will work with Scott so both of them can have a holistic understanding of supporting me during labor. I am very excited to have chosen this path and look forward to our future meetings. Plus the women who are closest to me that I would want in the delivery room are far away and I can't just say "let's grab coffee and chat." With Andrea I can, and there is that open relationship that is so vital to this process especially this being my first pregnancy.
So finding and securing a doula has been such a recent development and it came in such a natural way. I have been connecting with women I haven't been super in touch with lately and it has been amazing the support one can receive once you just open your eyes and your arms. I was a bit nervous at first because most of my closest friends here in Pdx are single or don't have children. I am thanking the Lord for these women that have shared their stories and have shared their clothes and books with me. The body of the believers has truly been evident and I love that it is being shown through women! Every single act of kindness that has been poured out on me, I mentally take note so that I can do the same when a women that I know is pregnant. So far this journey has been an emotional one but a very empowering one!!
I have been feeling so much movement from this "little lemon," more like the size of a papaya fruit (those are so yummy) now! Looking back in the last month, so much has developed. I have found myself really diving into books and research about natural birthing and interventions and what to expect and how to advocate for myself. I feel like I am learning how to navigate my way through this whole experience. The first example of this was scheduling this ultrasound appt to find out the sex. My midwife wrote down in her chicken scratch notes to me that I should schedule this appt between 18-22 weeks with the ultrasound lab. Great, cause the 30th was when my folks where driving down and I would be exactly 22 weeks and we could schedule the appt then.... so I called up the Ultrasound lab. The gal on the phone said, "I'm sorry, I can only schedule you between 18-20 weeks." I asked for a reason why and she didn't give a legitimate one, so I said I would contact my midwife and I did. She said to call another office if I didn't mind traveling to a different location as they would have flexibility in their schedule. It all worked out and I spoke to the right woman on the phone and explained why I wanted to schedule when I did, knowing that it's never certain that you will find out or that the baby will cooperate during the appt. This was one example of me learning how to navigate and advocate for myself. The second was through my midwife. My first baby appt was located near us but I then switched to the clinic near the hospital in Clackamas because I felt more comfortable and that area wouldn't be unfamiliar to travel there when in labor. So I requested a new CNM from a friend of ours. Let me tell you, I walked out asking myself what just happened and feeling completely confused and ambiguous about the whole appt. It felt like the whole time the midwife was talking about my weight and how I should eat right. This is a sensitive subject in general but even more sensitive during pregnancy as you naturally have no choice in gain weight. I have never had this problem before and I was questioning myself in do I eat enough greens and do I exercise enough.... the answers were yes and yes! Yes, I might not be the skinniest pregnant women and my arms are a bit bigger than I would like them to be at but not active? What? That's not right, I do workout and do yoga and do actually crave for good food and don't run to fast food EVER! I do like my icecream but not every night... the list went on and on in my head. I had expected this appt to be like a counseling appt, nice, warm, and fuzzy where I get to talk about my experience and my feelings and my first pregnancy... none of that. I shared with some women this experience and that I feel completely lukewarm towards her. I advice I received from everyone was, "switch!" And so I did, so this was my next advocating lesson and now feeling not guilty or apologetic about it either.
So today I just met with my midwife and I had a great experience. I was a bit apprehensive about going in because this would have been my third different midwife and the second recommended one at that. I was just praying and talking to myself in the car about how my expectations and what I wanted to communicate to her. Everything went smoothly! She listened and totally supported me and gave me permission to let her know if I ever felt uncomfortable with her to let her know which I wholly appreciated! It was a great baby appointment!
Through this last month I have discovered a key component that I will need that my midwife can only partially fulfill and that is the emotional piece of this pregnancy. I fully understand midwife's role and know that she even might not be there for the birth because Kaiser has them on shifts at the hospital. Knowing this now has made me search for another way of getting the emotional connection and need that I believe is so vital to this experience, which is why I have decided to have a doula. Recently, I wasn't quite sure what the role of a doula was. I met up with my RA from college and to find out her sister, which I know, is just finishing her doula training! I just met with Andrea tonight and let me tell you, I feel so supported and so happy that we are going to go this route! There is something about talking with a women who has experience and training in child birth and who knows what you are experiencing. Yes, mind you that my husband Scott will still be an active part during labor but I feel like I finally have a team! It was great to sip tea with Andrea and share my feelings and my story of pregnancy thus far. Plus the little that I knew of her set up a great foundation for a solid alliance. I felt heard and spending 3 hrs in a tea house with someone who listens is an encouraging and empowering experience. Scott and I have still yet to fully discuss our decision but from what I told him tonight, he was on board! I feel that having a doula fulfills the emotional need that I have. She will work with Scott so both of them can have a holistic understanding of supporting me during labor. I am very excited to have chosen this path and look forward to our future meetings. Plus the women who are closest to me that I would want in the delivery room are far away and I can't just say "let's grab coffee and chat." With Andrea I can, and there is that open relationship that is so vital to this process especially this being my first pregnancy.
So finding and securing a doula has been such a recent development and it came in such a natural way. I have been connecting with women I haven't been super in touch with lately and it has been amazing the support one can receive once you just open your eyes and your arms. I was a bit nervous at first because most of my closest friends here in Pdx are single or don't have children. I am thanking the Lord for these women that have shared their stories and have shared their clothes and books with me. The body of the believers has truly been evident and I love that it is being shown through women! Every single act of kindness that has been poured out on me, I mentally take note so that I can do the same when a women that I know is pregnant. So far this journey has been an emotional one but a very empowering one!!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Paranoia
Being a first time mother can cause a lot of angst... if you let it go there. But I admit there are moments that get me anxious and a bit paranoid, but I believe some of that comes with the territory of being a parent. Example: Yesterday morning I got a letter from Kaiser. I hadn't opened it yet but I knew it was the results of my blood test from two weeks ago for my second trimester blood screening. With the first round of results I found out the next day on my online account and everything was in normative range, a huge blessing and a sigh of relief because that was the first blood testing ever in my adult life. (Side note: The needles for the blood test are so small compared to giving blood, I was a champ and actually enjoyed it.)
Anyway... For this second round I hadn't heard yet... ok not to worry, but when the letter can I think my anxiety went up one degree then when I opened the letter the first word I saw was Down Syndrome. "Oh my gosh.... wait, wait, wait.... actually read the letter Liisa and see what it says," as I self-talked. I read the letter completely. I was notifying me that my results for Downs, Triomony, and Spina bifida were negative and in normative range. Ok, ok, I get it but gosh, just a split second of panic, not much but just a moment. I read on and the letter said something to the degree of, "these results do not accurately conclude that your child does not have Downs, for further testing talk to us about amniocentesis... blah blah blah." Thanks Kaiser!
I shared with some of my other co-workers looking for understanding and empathy. Gosh, I was thinking if I was a 'worrier' this would be not good news at all. I have to admit I went online and looked at national averages for all three of these birth disorders. I found out I was better than the national average, which is great. March of Dimes stated that women of age 25 are 1 out 1,200 and my numbers are 1 out of 1,300 and I'm at age 26. So that was my little moment... I don't want to blow it out of proportion but it feels good to write about it as I believe it to be normal to be a bit anxious about wanting a healthy child. From the beginning that has been our prayer as a family. And we know that the Lord will bless us with what He gives us.
Ok. that's all.... lately the area around my belly button has been super sensitive and it really has streteched and is no longer an 'innie' for sure. My tailbone has been very sensitive, so I have to look up ways to see how I can relieve the pain somehow, but it might just be what comes along with pregnancy and that's fine. My sister and Tyler are driving up as we speak, I am super excited to see her and meet Tyler. It will be pretty cool for her to see my belly! We're just going to do a typical Portland tour (Multnomah Falls, Powells book, 23rd street, Voodoo Doughnuts, saturday market, etc). I love Portland in the summer/fall, best time of the year. I also can't wait for July as our whole family is staying a week at a beach house in Depoe Bay, OR. This will be such a fun time as we would have found out the sex of the baby by then. Alaina's wedding is coming up and I should be getting my dress here soon, I ordered right after I knew I was pregnant, thank the Lord cause it will fit with the style it is. My belly is getting bigger which is nice cause for awhile it looked like a beer belly. :)
Anyway... For this second round I hadn't heard yet... ok not to worry, but when the letter can I think my anxiety went up one degree then when I opened the letter the first word I saw was Down Syndrome. "Oh my gosh.... wait, wait, wait.... actually read the letter Liisa and see what it says," as I self-talked. I read the letter completely. I was notifying me that my results for Downs, Triomony, and Spina bifida were negative and in normative range. Ok, ok, I get it but gosh, just a split second of panic, not much but just a moment. I read on and the letter said something to the degree of, "these results do not accurately conclude that your child does not have Downs, for further testing talk to us about amniocentesis... blah blah blah." Thanks Kaiser!
I shared with some of my other co-workers looking for understanding and empathy. Gosh, I was thinking if I was a 'worrier' this would be not good news at all. I have to admit I went online and looked at national averages for all three of these birth disorders. I found out I was better than the national average, which is great. March of Dimes stated that women of age 25 are 1 out 1,200 and my numbers are 1 out of 1,300 and I'm at age 26. So that was my little moment... I don't want to blow it out of proportion but it feels good to write about it as I believe it to be normal to be a bit anxious about wanting a healthy child. From the beginning that has been our prayer as a family. And we know that the Lord will bless us with what He gives us.
Ok. that's all.... lately the area around my belly button has been super sensitive and it really has streteched and is no longer an 'innie' for sure. My tailbone has been very sensitive, so I have to look up ways to see how I can relieve the pain somehow, but it might just be what comes along with pregnancy and that's fine. My sister and Tyler are driving up as we speak, I am super excited to see her and meet Tyler. It will be pretty cool for her to see my belly! We're just going to do a typical Portland tour (Multnomah Falls, Powells book, 23rd street, Voodoo Doughnuts, saturday market, etc). I love Portland in the summer/fall, best time of the year. I also can't wait for July as our whole family is staying a week at a beach house in Depoe Bay, OR. This will be such a fun time as we would have found out the sex of the baby by then. Alaina's wedding is coming up and I should be getting my dress here soon, I ordered right after I knew I was pregnant, thank the Lord cause it will fit with the style it is. My belly is getting bigger which is nice cause for awhile it looked like a beer belly. :)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Little Flutters
On Monday night I felt my first little baby flutters. About a week ago, I felt my first little "tap" but it wasn't much after that. I was sitting on the couch being mindful of my body and hoping I would feel some movement as I heard first mothers are not as awareness because they haven't had that experience before. I wasn't feeling anything, then Scott came into the house and I started talking and I felt a little "tap." I was pretty sure it was the baby but it wasn't until Monday night that I felt small but significant movements. It was pretty late, around 11:30pm and I was trying to fall asleep but my mind was on my tummy. I then left little flutters and a couple of taps and I probably woke Scott up as I said, "I just felt the baby!" It only happened over the course of 5 minutes but that time was so precious, it was as if the baby was saying, "Hi mom, I'm here!" I can't wait to feel more movements in my belly. I am loving this second trimester- growing baby bump, talking and telling others about the baby, more energy throughout the day so now I can acutally workout and be active, etc. This is fun stage in the pregnancy and I hope to soak in every moment and remember it all. We will be finding out the sex of the baby soon which I am looking forward, still have to schedule the appt. I think after we find out then I will get more into the baby names and the baby room.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Reading Material
Below is a list of reading material that we have acquired from friends or have yet to purchase. These are all sitting in the front room in a basket next to the couch, easy for me to pick up and read...
We haven't picked up this book yet, but it's on our list next to buy. Other parents and even my professors in class have recommended this book numerous times. It's pretty much a guide to comforting your baby and getting them to sleep when it is difficult to do so.
We received this book from our boss, Megan, at work. She said that her biggest anxiety was 'how do I take care of this baby when he/she arrives?' This book breaks down all your questions and out of all the books, Scott has started to read this one, which is important as he needs to know what to do as much as I do once our baby is here.
This is the bible of pregnancy books and has been so informative to give month by month practical information on the stages of pregnancy, it is such an easy read.
Still a ways off till we get to eating solid foods, but the time will come sooner than later.
Our good friends, Jess and Candi Bielman, got us this book right after we found out we were pregnant. It's the perfect gift to give first time parents as it has a humorous, lighthearted, comical relief to the entire experience of pregnancy. I have found myself cracking up as I read in this book. :)
Since we are going down this natural birthing path, I wanted to get the original book from Dr. Bradley himself.
All these books talk specifically to women but what about the fathers-to-be? They are just as equally important! This book was given to Scott from a co-worker, and as you look father books are very few. This discusses month by month throughout the baby's first year.
We haven't picked up this book yet, but it's on our list next to buy. Other parents and even my professors in class have recommended this book numerous times. It's pretty much a guide to comforting your baby and getting them to sleep when it is difficult to do so.
We received this book from our boss, Megan, at work. She said that her biggest anxiety was 'how do I take care of this baby when he/she arrives?' This book breaks down all your questions and out of all the books, Scott has started to read this one, which is important as he needs to know what to do as much as I do once our baby is here.
This is the bible of pregnancy books and has been so informative to give month by month practical information on the stages of pregnancy, it is such an easy read.
Still a ways off till we get to eating solid foods, but the time will come sooner than later.
Our good friends, Jess and Candi Bielman, got us this book right after we found out we were pregnant. It's the perfect gift to give first time parents as it has a humorous, lighthearted, comical relief to the entire experience of pregnancy. I have found myself cracking up as I read in this book. :)
Since we are going down this natural birthing path, I wanted to get the original book from Dr. Bradley himself.
All these books talk specifically to women but what about the fathers-to-be? They are just as equally important! This book was given to Scott from a co-worker, and as you look father books are very few. This discusses month by month throughout the baby's first year.
Why Natural?
Gosh, where do I start? This topic has so many different opinions and debates but I'm going to throw it my two cents, if it even matters. It's a small ripple in an ocean of opinions and thoughts. The idea of natural birth has always intrigued me and I remember even in jr. high the sense of wanting to experience a natural birth when I had children. Having a mother who was in favor for it also shaped my opinion as I heard from her and my Aunt their own experiences. In college I think it became more clear to me the value of 'why' I was drawn to it more than some other methods.
My experience in Uganda had such a impact on the way I view certain topics in our Western society, and pain is one of them. Plus women have been giving birth for thousands of years! Our western culture doesn't want anything to do with pain, we want the most comfortable lifestyle farthest from any discomfort. We associate pain as negative and because of so many of our options today, there are many other ways to avoid it. I remember reading somewhere that there is no true joy without true pain. Pain, suffering, and joy always seem to coexist and I believe this to be fully true when it comes to laboring.
I have to admit, the first day I found out I was having a baby, labor all of a sudden sacred me. I think before that I had this mythical and romantic idea in my head, but once I was faced with the fact that was having this child, that meant that I had to endure labor! Ah! There is nothing joyful about the process of labor, only the result of it. But God has created our bodies so incredibly for the experience of labor that our bodies biologically release a hormone which has an affect on our brains once labor is through. Oxytocin is a mammalian hormone that is release within a woman's body during labor and breastfeeding. It's known as the "love hormone," that has such a powerful affect upon our bodies and plays a vital role in bonding with our baby after labor.
I find this to be so incredible how God has made a woman's body. About a year ago I totally went on this empowerment phase where I was truly becoming aware of my body, sexuality, feeling, thinking, and mental capacity. Scott and I have been doing FAM (Fertility Awareness Method) and about a yr. ago I really found out that it works, along with completely my first half-marathon, and reading a book titled, "The Female Brain." It seemed that I went on a little feminist kick because I was just loved being a woman and how empowered I felt at the time. I believe this to be a foundation of why I want to go the Bradley Method Route. I want to experience a natural labor and do all that I can to prepare for it. I love asking women who have gone through natural labor and what their experience was like. Talking to women in my family who have done it also gives me a sense that I could be successful too.
However, I have to step back and be realistic because nothing is for certain. I may look at this blog in six months and say, yeah I had great intentions but the experience was something I wasn't ready for. I have no idea what the pain will be like and have nothing to compare it to. My goal is to flexible and not rigid. I don't want my birth plan to be, 'this is the only way,' because what if there are complications that I have no control over? I think it's great to have a goal and plan in mind and I want to know that going in, but I don't want it to be like I 'failed' because I had an epidural. I get the sense from some woman that because they choose to have an epidural it was like they were a failure. Some women that I know are all hands down for one and take no shame that they had it done. I want to be flexible with my plan but really try and prepare to go natural as much as I can. This first starts with exercise and eating.
Ideally when we got pregnant I wasn't at my ideal weight or physical fitness. Now that I am pregnant, it's not about losing weight but staying active. I have been doing cardio on the elliptical at the gym at work and then doing yoga stretches. This seems to be going well as I now have the energy to want to be active not that I am in my second trimester. I have found that interval training to be a good way of possibly training my mind for labor. Doing intervals, I do a certain number of mins on an easier level of resistance and then the next 2 mins it is a harder level. During my harder levels I just self talk that this is a contraction and it will come to an end...It might be a silly way of looking at it but I love the feeling of being "in the zone" when working out, as it naturally releases endorphins anyway. So, if I work out, do some yoga, educate myself, listen to women who have gone before me, have Scott and myself take a Bradley Method class, and pray for the Lord's wisdom..... I think that's a good plan. We have to do the best that we can at having this baby, because no matter what, the end result is that this baby is going to be born no matter what way it enters this world. Oh, I am so excited to meet this little one! :)
My experience in Uganda had such a impact on the way I view certain topics in our Western society, and pain is one of them. Plus women have been giving birth for thousands of years! Our western culture doesn't want anything to do with pain, we want the most comfortable lifestyle farthest from any discomfort. We associate pain as negative and because of so many of our options today, there are many other ways to avoid it. I remember reading somewhere that there is no true joy without true pain. Pain, suffering, and joy always seem to coexist and I believe this to be fully true when it comes to laboring.
I have to admit, the first day I found out I was having a baby, labor all of a sudden sacred me. I think before that I had this mythical and romantic idea in my head, but once I was faced with the fact that was having this child, that meant that I had to endure labor! Ah! There is nothing joyful about the process of labor, only the result of it. But God has created our bodies so incredibly for the experience of labor that our bodies biologically release a hormone which has an affect on our brains once labor is through. Oxytocin is a mammalian hormone that is release within a woman's body during labor and breastfeeding. It's known as the "love hormone," that has such a powerful affect upon our bodies and plays a vital role in bonding with our baby after labor.
I find this to be so incredible how God has made a woman's body. About a year ago I totally went on this empowerment phase where I was truly becoming aware of my body, sexuality, feeling, thinking, and mental capacity. Scott and I have been doing FAM (Fertility Awareness Method) and about a yr. ago I really found out that it works, along with completely my first half-marathon, and reading a book titled, "The Female Brain." It seemed that I went on a little feminist kick because I was just loved being a woman and how empowered I felt at the time. I believe this to be a foundation of why I want to go the Bradley Method Route. I want to experience a natural labor and do all that I can to prepare for it. I love asking women who have gone through natural labor and what their experience was like. Talking to women in my family who have done it also gives me a sense that I could be successful too.
However, I have to step back and be realistic because nothing is for certain. I may look at this blog in six months and say, yeah I had great intentions but the experience was something I wasn't ready for. I have no idea what the pain will be like and have nothing to compare it to. My goal is to flexible and not rigid. I don't want my birth plan to be, 'this is the only way,' because what if there are complications that I have no control over? I think it's great to have a goal and plan in mind and I want to know that going in, but I don't want it to be like I 'failed' because I had an epidural. I get the sense from some woman that because they choose to have an epidural it was like they were a failure. Some women that I know are all hands down for one and take no shame that they had it done. I want to be flexible with my plan but really try and prepare to go natural as much as I can. This first starts with exercise and eating.
Ideally when we got pregnant I wasn't at my ideal weight or physical fitness. Now that I am pregnant, it's not about losing weight but staying active. I have been doing cardio on the elliptical at the gym at work and then doing yoga stretches. This seems to be going well as I now have the energy to want to be active not that I am in my second trimester. I have found that interval training to be a good way of possibly training my mind for labor. Doing intervals, I do a certain number of mins on an easier level of resistance and then the next 2 mins it is a harder level. During my harder levels I just self talk that this is a contraction and it will come to an end...It might be a silly way of looking at it but I love the feeling of being "in the zone" when working out, as it naturally releases endorphins anyway. So, if I work out, do some yoga, educate myself, listen to women who have gone before me, have Scott and myself take a Bradley Method class, and pray for the Lord's wisdom..... I think that's a good plan. We have to do the best that we can at having this baby, because no matter what, the end result is that this baby is going to be born no matter what way it enters this world. Oh, I am so excited to meet this little one! :)
Laugher with a Friend
Due to our big news of getting pregnant we have reconnected with so many of our college friends- it's great, but I joke that it takes getting pregnant to get together with all these people. ;) Well today I went with lunch with Andrea at an delicious Ethiopian restaurant on NE Killingsworth. She gave me this postcard and we just cracked up. What is she holding? An ostrich egg? She looks so somber. I had to post this pic because it just so ridiculous. I joked that I would send her a pic of me when I'm that big, but it wouldn't look as good... We had such a great laugh as it was such the perfect card to receive from such a close friend. Her words on the back were so meaningful to me. Thanks Drea for making my day!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
This is by far one of my favorite Psalms. Those who know me could attest, because back in the day one of my fav female Christian artists was Rebecca St. James and she has a song about this Psalm that I love (man, those were the days, haha). I love having this Psalm memorized as I can be so close to my baby just by placing my hand on my growing belly and either speak over or prayer quietly. During Easter right after we told Scott’s family the news I was overwhelmed during worship to start praying now for our child to know and love the Lord. There was a huge sense of responsibility but an even greater sense of surrendering as I realized that even though I haven’t even given birth to this child, this baby is truly in the hands of the Lord. My heart was completely moved by the fact that to some extent I only have a certain amount of influence over this babe... it seems so finite as times. After church I cried to my mother-in-law who is such a blessing when it comes to prayer and faith. It is so great to have her aournd when my own mom is not as close. Sandy listened to my heart of my heart for our child to know and love the Lord. Sandy loves to pray, so I knew I was in good company. I felt that moment to be a very special one as I know many women don’t have experiences like that with their mother-in-law. I believe it will be one of many moments that will bring her and I closer together, and I thank the Lord she is in my life.
Psalm 139
You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Thank you Lord for your Word and the promises you give to us.
Psalm 139
You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Thank you Lord for your Word and the promises you give to us.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Pitter Patter
On Monday we heard the heart beat of our little one at 15 weeks. It was so precious but I wanted to listen to it longer. The midwife said the baby was moving around a bit when she was locating the heartbeat, once again... not surprised we have a mover. I am thinking about renting one of those fetal heart monitors so we can have our family hear. Not only seeing the baby on the ultrasound but now hearing the heartbeat creates more of a bond. I find it so incredibly fascinating that we are still having a baby. Things really haven’t changed in our life, it’s still Scott and I in the evenings at home making dinner and me doing hw or catching a tv show. But then I am reminded that I am pregnant and it blows me away. It’s pretty incredible and my prayer is for our baby to be healthy. Soon I should be feeling little flutters or taps. I am so looking forward to this next stage as I anticipate this new experience.
Our Little Lemon
At 14 weeks our baby was the size of a lemon! Hence our name of little lemon was born. :) We found this website that determines how big your baby is week to week according to fruit size. Thanks Lynelle!
Pickles and Chocolate Milk
Yep, pickles and chocolate milk are the perfect combo! I am totally having those typical pregnant cravings as Scott and I laugh about what sounds so incredibly delicious to me on different days. I am a bit sad that I can't eat my sushi or drink my coffee. :( However, I can have a california roll (imitation crab) and I do get decaf coffee about 2x a week because I like the taste. Not having wine or a beer is a bummer when we are out with our friends, but oh well, I would be an idiot if I did. I just tell my friends to have a glass for me.
I am discover that pregnancy is such an invasive process and you really have little control to what your body experiences at times. I feel that I have to just surrender to changes that are occurring (breast getting bigger, and weight gain). I feel that I have control over things like what I eat and exercise but other than that I am on this yoyo of a ride. My first trimester I felt completely exhausted, not wanting to do much of anything. Now I have my energy back and excersising and going to my yoga classes are things I am now looking forward. Found some pretty sweet yoga stretches that I should be doing daily in order to get my body stretched for labor. I think that anything I do now to help that process could help in a positive way. Currently we are thinking of going with the Bradley Method and take a class from a gal here in Portland, but that's another blog for another day. Right now I am just so happy to have energy back and some motivation to be active, I just hope I keep up with it.
I am discover that pregnancy is such an invasive process and you really have little control to what your body experiences at times. I feel that I have to just surrender to changes that are occurring (breast getting bigger, and weight gain). I feel that I have control over things like what I eat and exercise but other than that I am on this yoyo of a ride. My first trimester I felt completely exhausted, not wanting to do much of anything. Now I have my energy back and excersising and going to my yoga classes are things I am now looking forward. Found some pretty sweet yoga stretches that I should be doing daily in order to get my body stretched for labor. I think that anything I do now to help that process could help in a positive way. Currently we are thinking of going with the Bradley Method and take a class from a gal here in Portland, but that's another blog for another day. Right now I am just so happy to have energy back and some motivation to be active, I just hope I keep up with it.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Fergie's Baby
Here is our little one. I was 11 weeks at this point. This was our second ultrasound as my midwife wanted to get a more acurate due date set for certain. This ultrasound was quite memorable. Myself, wanting to be a good patient and ask all the right questions can take an appt too seriously and take away any fun... not my husband, it was such a joy to have him there right next to me all laughs and smiles. He joked around with the ultrasound tech and when he found out she could type in anything, asked her to write" "Fergie's Baby." Yep! We were laughing so hard my stomach wasn't still enough for the ultrasound device to pick up the baby. And our baby was moving and putting on quite the show, that was quite an amazing site to see. Of course we're not surprised that our kid was moving around that much... he/she must be a Ferguson. :) That day I will always remember!
An Izze Does the Tummy Good
I am currently in my second trimester... thank the Lord! No more morning sickness, nausea, and zero energy. It is all behind me now... WRONG! I am currently up with what I like to call a "sour stomach," cause that's exactly what it feels like. Normally when if I lay on my left side I can go back to sleep. This morning I woke up at 4pm and haven't been able to fall back asleep. I got an Izze as it was the only carbonated drink in our frig, so maybe it's the sugar from that which is keeping me up, who knows. I still get these bouts of nausea once in awhile, so I am thankful that it doesn't hit me every day like it used to. Man... the first trimester is really something. I have never felt so lazy and tired before in my life. In the mornings my stomach would be upset but I would eat bfast and I was fine all through out the day until after work where I would come home and crash on the couch. I felt like a zombie and poor Scott had to put up with my moaning as I normally took up the whole couch. :) He was great, at times it wasn't fun because I was nauseated every day. This can get tiring and we fought a couple of times but had a really good conversation one night about how we actually felt about it. Yes, I put the feelings chart up on the frig and actually put it into practice! It works!
At these times when I am up and I can't sleep and nothing seems to work, I like to pray for my little one inside who I have never met. I still get overwhelmed at times that we are actually having a baby as I really don't think about the "big picture" until I am by myself and reflect on all that is occurring in our lives. Scott just got a promotion at work, where he will now be the Director of Service Learning and we're having a baby in Nov!? I told Scott that who knew 2011 would be such a big year for us. But it's pretty exciting as we prepare for the next BIG transition. There is so much to think about.... me being in school, work, baby's room, etc. The list seems to go on. This summer we are planning on buying a Subaru, something more reliable than my little bucket. It's been a great car, thinking about selling it for $1000, so we'll see what we get. It will be nice to have something more reliable before the baby comes and that we can drive up to Idaho in the snow. I start thinking about the baby's room and I get excited but I don't know where to start... I am more in the a color scheme that I am into a monkey theme or princess theme. I really like yellow, green, brown... something along those lines. Interior decorating is not my strong suite, so I need to call in recruits to help me! I also get inspired by others who I see sewing blankets, baby bumpers, and even making their own clothe diapers...Ah! I want to do it all! Gosh, I totally sound like a first time mom when I read this... knowing that I can't get around to everything, but it's still fun to have ideas and goals running around in my head. :)
I have acquired books from friends and coworkers about pregnancy and baby. It has been so sweet receiving books and advice knowing that I can ask those people questions about their own experiences. Pretty much to sum it all: Each child is different in their own way, and do best what's best for the baby, Scott, and myself. This is the theme I keep hearing and when I think about different scenarios I just self-talk those words. Experience is completely different than what I will read in books. However, I dont want to toss out books or not read anything either. Each book has there own bias and opinions, so it's interesting reading different ones and what they have to say. Currently, I am considering choosing to go with the Bradley Method for childbirth. I have looked online for classes and they are around $200 but I am serious about Scott and I attending one. I picked up Dr. Bradley's "Husband Coached Childbirth" and have started to read it. Yeah, it's a bit out of date as he refers to methods that were done back in the 80's but the philosophy and approach I mostly agree with. I just started this process about thinking about our birth plan... so much to think about, pray about, read about, and decide....
At these times when I am up and I can't sleep and nothing seems to work, I like to pray for my little one inside who I have never met. I still get overwhelmed at times that we are actually having a baby as I really don't think about the "big picture" until I am by myself and reflect on all that is occurring in our lives. Scott just got a promotion at work, where he will now be the Director of Service Learning and we're having a baby in Nov!? I told Scott that who knew 2011 would be such a big year for us. But it's pretty exciting as we prepare for the next BIG transition. There is so much to think about.... me being in school, work, baby's room, etc. The list seems to go on. This summer we are planning on buying a Subaru, something more reliable than my little bucket. It's been a great car, thinking about selling it for $1000, so we'll see what we get. It will be nice to have something more reliable before the baby comes and that we can drive up to Idaho in the snow. I start thinking about the baby's room and I get excited but I don't know where to start... I am more in the a color scheme that I am into a monkey theme or princess theme. I really like yellow, green, brown... something along those lines. Interior decorating is not my strong suite, so I need to call in recruits to help me! I also get inspired by others who I see sewing blankets, baby bumpers, and even making their own clothe diapers...Ah! I want to do it all! Gosh, I totally sound like a first time mom when I read this... knowing that I can't get around to everything, but it's still fun to have ideas and goals running around in my head. :)
I have acquired books from friends and coworkers about pregnancy and baby. It has been so sweet receiving books and advice knowing that I can ask those people questions about their own experiences. Pretty much to sum it all: Each child is different in their own way, and do best what's best for the baby, Scott, and myself. This is the theme I keep hearing and when I think about different scenarios I just self-talk those words. Experience is completely different than what I will read in books. However, I dont want to toss out books or not read anything either. Each book has there own bias and opinions, so it's interesting reading different ones and what they have to say. Currently, I am considering choosing to go with the Bradley Method for childbirth. I have looked online for classes and they are around $200 but I am serious about Scott and I attending one. I picked up Dr. Bradley's "Husband Coached Childbirth" and have started to read it. Yeah, it's a bit out of date as he refers to methods that were done back in the 80's but the philosophy and approach I mostly agree with. I just started this process about thinking about our birth plan... so much to think about, pray about, read about, and decide....
Friday, May 13, 2011
One Word That Changed My Life
Who knew that one word would have such an impact on my life. On March 1st, a small device notified me that my life was taking a drastic change. I looked and saw the word "pregnant" on my take home pregnancy test. It was a rush of emotions that overcame me and I needed a moment to take it in as my first thought was denial. I had been having some feelings earlier that week that made me a bit paranoid. My bronchotis came back the week before which is normal because your immune system lowers when your first pregnant. I looked that at the side effects on my medication for pregnancy as I just wanted to know "in case." It was 6:30am that morning as I couldn't sleep the night before and I had to get up and find out. Moments later I woke Scott up and showed him the test. He was quiet and his look was a bit bewildered as I just had woke him up. It probably wasn't the best timing for me to tell him, but there was no way that I could go back to sleep... I had to wake him up for this big news!
I had so many mixed emotions from that moment on. We weren't planning on having a baby just yet as I am still in my first full year of grad school, a program that is 3 yrs long. I was thinking 28-30 yrs would be a good age to get pregnant. We always talked about our Plan A and then the possibility of Plan B happening at any moment. But still, when I found out I freaked out. This was not when I wanted to have a baby, I was still in my grad program and had internship this fall! I had catastrophized thinking as I said, "my life is over!" The next weeks in my human development class, my prof shared that life is about transitions. Each transition has its gains and losses and it's how we deal with this transition that determine our character and show our true colors. At my early moments of pregnancy I felt more loss and gain. I only saw what I was losing (i.e. my identity, time with Scott, control, time of graduation, work, etc).
During this time I was also taking my 501 class where we learn how to counsel and be counseled. Looking back it was truly a blessing for me to share my thoughts and feeling with Kristin as she was not family or friends. Besides talking to Scott, it was refreshing discussing these matters with Kristin knowing it was completely confidential. I know the Lord had by best interests in mind as I am an external processor. I had so much emotion and would almost cry every Monday we met. It was a relief to just have someone to listen and empathize, that was quite the experience for me. It made me not feel apologetic for my feelings. These feelings were not negative, they were just "mixed." It has really become an empowering process as I watch myself come around to my feelings of having this baby. Another big factor that totally surprised me was that I DID HAVE A CHOICE TO KEEP THIS BABY! My values and beliefs are to choose life when it comes to pregnancy, as I fully believe in life and the precious gift the Lord has given to us. When I found out I was pregnant, I was suprised that I felt relief that I actually had options out there. This was something that I wasn't expecting as it almost gave me a peace of mind but also it also confirmed that it really was my choice to have this baby. I am choosing life by making the conscious choice to have this child. Through the first two weeks the only thing that would snap me out of this funk of mixed emotions was thinking of our friends that could not have kids or had a hard time getting pregnant. When I stepped outside of my little selfish world and looked around, I was convicted and knew that everything was going to be ok. It was the one thing that in a sense kept me grounded as my emotions seemed to be off the charts sometimes. Scott did such a great job listening and empathizing with me. He would often shares how excited he his to have this baby and why. It always lifts my spirits and gives me such comfort and closeness.
With emotions, sickness, and school... there was so much to do and think about. Needless to say I was so thankful that time passes because at the end of the semester was the time that I wrapped up my first trimester. It was at this time that I couldn't wait to share the news and have it become public. So that is what this blog is dedicated to... the journey of my first pregnancy. I always have the best intentions with these blogs and they never seem to go anywhere.... maybe with my pregnancy there is a main theme that will help me blog my feeling and thoughts. I have already come up with a list of subjects to write about, so that's a good sign. But before I end this first posting, Scott and I love the quote from Dan in Real Life as it states:
" Dear Readers, for most of you, this is my first column in your paper. In the future, I will be answering your questions, but today I want to break from my usual format and talk to you about the subject of plans. Not so much my plan for this column, but life plans, and how we all make them. And how we hope that our kids make good, smart, safe plans of their own. But if we're really honest with ourselves, our plans usually don't work out as we had hoped. So instead of asking our young people "What are you plans? What do you plan to do with your life?" maybe we should tell them this: Plan to be surprised."
"Plan to be surprised" is what life is all about, and so here we are living out this motto and soaking up our own life experience with all of its emotions, fears, and moments of overwhelming joy! We look forward for this little bundle of joy to change our lives for the better and we can't wait to meet him/her! :)
I had so many mixed emotions from that moment on. We weren't planning on having a baby just yet as I am still in my first full year of grad school, a program that is 3 yrs long. I was thinking 28-30 yrs would be a good age to get pregnant. We always talked about our Plan A and then the possibility of Plan B happening at any moment. But still, when I found out I freaked out. This was not when I wanted to have a baby, I was still in my grad program and had internship this fall! I had catastrophized thinking as I said, "my life is over!" The next weeks in my human development class, my prof shared that life is about transitions. Each transition has its gains and losses and it's how we deal with this transition that determine our character and show our true colors. At my early moments of pregnancy I felt more loss and gain. I only saw what I was losing (i.e. my identity, time with Scott, control, time of graduation, work, etc).
During this time I was also taking my 501 class where we learn how to counsel and be counseled. Looking back it was truly a blessing for me to share my thoughts and feeling with Kristin as she was not family or friends. Besides talking to Scott, it was refreshing discussing these matters with Kristin knowing it was completely confidential. I know the Lord had by best interests in mind as I am an external processor. I had so much emotion and would almost cry every Monday we met. It was a relief to just have someone to listen and empathize, that was quite the experience for me. It made me not feel apologetic for my feelings. These feelings were not negative, they were just "mixed." It has really become an empowering process as I watch myself come around to my feelings of having this baby. Another big factor that totally surprised me was that I DID HAVE A CHOICE TO KEEP THIS BABY! My values and beliefs are to choose life when it comes to pregnancy, as I fully believe in life and the precious gift the Lord has given to us. When I found out I was pregnant, I was suprised that I felt relief that I actually had options out there. This was something that I wasn't expecting as it almost gave me a peace of mind but also it also confirmed that it really was my choice to have this baby. I am choosing life by making the conscious choice to have this child. Through the first two weeks the only thing that would snap me out of this funk of mixed emotions was thinking of our friends that could not have kids or had a hard time getting pregnant. When I stepped outside of my little selfish world and looked around, I was convicted and knew that everything was going to be ok. It was the one thing that in a sense kept me grounded as my emotions seemed to be off the charts sometimes. Scott did such a great job listening and empathizing with me. He would often shares how excited he his to have this baby and why. It always lifts my spirits and gives me such comfort and closeness.
With emotions, sickness, and school... there was so much to do and think about. Needless to say I was so thankful that time passes because at the end of the semester was the time that I wrapped up my first trimester. It was at this time that I couldn't wait to share the news and have it become public. So that is what this blog is dedicated to... the journey of my first pregnancy. I always have the best intentions with these blogs and they never seem to go anywhere.... maybe with my pregnancy there is a main theme that will help me blog my feeling and thoughts. I have already come up with a list of subjects to write about, so that's a good sign. But before I end this first posting, Scott and I love the quote from Dan in Real Life as it states:
" Dear Readers, for most of you, this is my first column in your paper. In the future, I will be answering your questions, but today I want to break from my usual format and talk to you about the subject of plans. Not so much my plan for this column, but life plans, and how we all make them. And how we hope that our kids make good, smart, safe plans of their own. But if we're really honest with ourselves, our plans usually don't work out as we had hoped. So instead of asking our young people "What are you plans? What do you plan to do with your life?" maybe we should tell them this: Plan to be surprised."
"Plan to be surprised" is what life is all about, and so here we are living out this motto and soaking up our own life experience with all of its emotions, fears, and moments of overwhelming joy! We look forward for this little bundle of joy to change our lives for the better and we can't wait to meet him/her! :)
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